Period

3 years 8 months 21 days

Sometimes when someone belongs to you, even when that particular person is not close most of the time, you’ll still feel an intimacy. Its like an invisible bond that drew both of you together, making you feel that you are not alone. Ironic isn’t it? The truth is, all we need is just a sense of belongings. Personally, I don’t know whether there is still love that ties both people together. It started with all the love you can find but as time goes by, obligation and habit somehow took place.

For me, all I know is, when I lost that particular person, something in me went together. I never knew I would felt that way. And all of a sudden, I just felt so.. alone. The absurdity is, that person had been physically absent for a very long time already. Hence, I WAS alone most of the time, other than accompanied by a worthy bunch of friends and families. Just one word and things change. It was the first time I ever felt such way. And I couldn’t stop wondering if I made the right decision. I busied myself, and yet these thoughts just popped out. Finally, I knew, this time is for real. It is the ending of us. And, that’s just it.

~22^nd April 2009~

“ Hoping that my phone would ring and I could just hear your voice one last time ”

“Hoping that you would suddenly turn out and I could just hug you one last time”

“ Hoping that time would stop and we were back to the good ol’days one last time “

Turmoil

People often say, do you regret what you had done in the past. My most logical answer for that would be, its the PAST. There is no point of wasting your time regretting it; instead why not just use that energy to amend the mistakes. This is the LOGICAL answer. But people’s action does not often synchronize with their speech. It follows their hearts most of the time, I am not excluded. So, the truthful answer would be; Yeah, I do regret. It’s a lesson learnt and I am trying my best to fix it by minimising the damages.

Every once in your life, there is a time when you got off track and were confuse of where you are standing. This is the time for me. And during the state of confusion I have made decisions that were irrational and at the same time hurting. Now, I will need to live up to it. I guess, things were on my side too cause’ I won’t even be here if things actually get messy (^-^).

~Still confusing~

My EX-job

I have finally ended my one-year-job! Frankly, I’m so proud of myself for reaching my goal. Seriously speaking, my job is HELL in a way but I can’t deny that I LOVE my time there. Family and Friends around me had probably heard me complaining about my job over and over again *sorry guys* but deep inside my heart, there is this tiny little spot that loves my job. The reason I love being an auditor in BDO Binder KL? I don’t know, but I did list out the possible causes:

- I have heaps of worthy friends over there that took care of each other

- Laughing my heart out is surprisingly a common agenda considering the workload

- Gossiping is fun and harmless

- Majority of the colleagues smile at each other although they are not acquainted

- We have over 100 auditors on the same floor but it still seems like a close community

- My lunch + dinner are always accompanied by someone pleasant

- My colleagues are cheeky in some ways, especially during midnight

- I get to go new places, meet new people, understand new accounting cultures and LEARN new things in every new assignment

Time past so fast when I was working. I was somehow _{(keyword is somehow, not every time)} anticipating working as there were always lists of things to do. My days were so productive and I can’t stop thinking! It was awesome and most of the times tiring. But at the end of the day, I tell myself; “ One day, I’ll look back and think of those moments that I ever felt of giving up as a very important lesson in life”. Now, I can proudly look back and tell myself, it wasn’t so bad after all! Quite frankly, I don’t think the subsequent jobs I’ll be working on in the future will be as tough as my life as an auditor. One thing for sure, I have enough of working 17 hours a day; continuously for a month!